Dumzimstan is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, generous hare.

Dumzimstan created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumzimstan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dumzimstan, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Dumzimstan's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Dumzimstan's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are not to be trusted.

2. Retreat if four snakes approach from the west.

3. Never feed cucumbers to foxes while wearing corsets.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.