Zimbidfig is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, ill-tempered centipede.

Zimbidfig created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Zimbidfig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zimbidfig, he will boil you in a big pot.

Zimbidfig's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Zimbidfig's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Erect seven tin sculptures of Zimbidfig on top of important buildings.

4. Never chant in the presence of dogs.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.