Pigkonwik is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, passionate dog.

Pigkonwik created gold seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigkonwik, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pigkonwik, she will try to impress you with trees.

Pigkonwik's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Pigkonwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop in public.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never feed limes to mice while wearing dresses.