Vabwatbam is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, fussy badger.

Vabwatbam created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabwatbam, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vabwatbam, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Vabwatbam's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Vabwatbam's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Mites are not to be trusted.

5. Do not stand on grass.