Wotbatyik Quatabsid is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unthoughtful parrot.

Wotbatyik Quatabsid created Europe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotbatyik Quatabsid, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wotbatyik Quatabsid, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Wotbatyik Quatabsid's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Wotbatyik Quatabsid's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never run in the presence of dogs.

5. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.