Afpitarf is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, selfish swan.

Afpitarf created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Afpitarf, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Afpitarf, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Afpitarf's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Afpitarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Never wear orange jumpers.

3. Always help sick tortoises.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Hide from blue moths for they are unholy.