Wotjaprap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, wise tortoise.

Wotjaprap created snails two million years ago.

If you believe in Wotjaprap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wotjaprap, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Wotjaprap's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Wotjaprap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum field theory.

2. Always wear cyan.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Never wear shorts.