Vagbagtunstikarmcussmanyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, stupid dolphin.

Vagbagtunstikarmcussmanyarl created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vagbagtunstikarmcussmanyarl, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vagbagtunstikarmcussmanyarl, she will laugh at you.

Vagbagtunstikarmcussmanyarl's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Vagbagtunstikarmcussmanyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Never laugh near nematodes.

5. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Vagbagtunstikarmcussmanyarl in the centre of the settlement.