Hitfabbug is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, smart guinea pig.

Hitfabbug created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitfabbug, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hitfabbug, it will turn you into a dog.

Hitfabbug's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Hitfabbug's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Never mention capybaras.

4. Never eat onions.

5. You must pray to Hitfabbug five times a day.