Arfparkgemjipflambonkbog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, impressive alligator.

Arfparkgemjipflambonkbog created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arfparkgemjipflambonkbog, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Arfparkgemjipflambonkbog, it will destroy your home solar system.

Arfparkgemjipflambonkbog's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Arfparkgemjipflambonkbog's Holy Commandments

1. Put Arfparkgemjipflambonkbog first in all things.

2. You must love Arfparkgemjipflambonkbog.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always stare at clouds.