Begdumparkvolcit is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish donkey.

Begdumparkvolcit created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begdumparkvolcit, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Begdumparkvolcit, it will turn you into a tree.

Begdumparkvolcit's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Begdumparkvolcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear iron on your body.

2. Do not speak about cucumbers.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Hide from purple capybaras for they are unholy.