Gessgumtad is a god.

He takes the form of a small, compassionate slug.

Gessgumtad created the Virgo Supercluster six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessgumtad, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gessgumtad, he will manifest in front of you.

Gessgumtad's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Gessgumtad's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Hide from blue seals for they are unholy.