Kikbabfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a small, loving hippopotamus.

Kikbabfarn created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikbabfarn, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kikbabfarn, it will throw large rocks at you.

Kikbabfarn's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Kikbabfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peas.

2. Never mention manatees.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.