Jinlagjop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, ruthless raccoon.

Jinlagjop created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinlagjop, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jinlagjop, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Jinlagjop's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Jinlagjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near aardvarks while wearing black shirts and balancing six zinc spheres on your back.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not take Jinlagjop's name in vain.

5. Always help sharks.