Larnhamkon is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, awesome eagle.

Larnhamkon created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnhamkon, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Larnhamkon, she will turn you into a plant.

Larnhamkon's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Larnhamkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair magenta.

2. Do not hurt goats.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Birds are not to be trusted.