Gofnurmip Tettivedflat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody goblin.

Gofnurmip Tettivedflat created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofnurmip Tettivedflat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gofnurmip Tettivedflat, she will ignore you.

Gofnurmip Tettivedflat's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gofnurmip Tettivedflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not speak about turnips.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.