Straglamcum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, loving camel.

Straglamcum created gold three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Straglamcum, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Straglamcum, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Straglamcum's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Straglamcum's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Straglamcum.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Erect seven aluminium sculptures of Straglamcum on top of important buildings.

5. Always pray immersed in water.