Nelcubzak is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, irritating centaur.

Nelcubzak created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelcubzak, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nelcubzak, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nelcubzak's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Nelcubzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

4. Never mention gulls.

5. Respect your elders.