Kadwothud Bemtonktin is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, pitiless bat.

Kadwothud Bemtonktin created an electron five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kadwothud Bemtonktin, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kadwothud Bemtonktin, he will destroy your favourite star.

Kadwothud Bemtonktin's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Kadwothud Bemtonktin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Kadwothud Bemtonktin loves moths, so they must be respected.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Kadwothud Bemtonktin must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never feed figs to bats while wearing kilts.