Gadwaphot is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, witty clam.

Gadwaphot created Africa five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gadwaphot, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gadwaphot, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gadwaphot's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Gadwaphot's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always wear fawn.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Respect your elders.