Mappagnartjatbell is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented weasel.

Mappagnartjatbell created the Milkyway nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mappagnartjatbell, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mappagnartjatbell, it will turn you into a mouse.

Mappagnartjatbell's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Mappagnartjatbell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mappagnartjatbell.

4. Always help seals.

5. Always take life seriously.