Pinomindod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, compassionate turtle.

Pinomindod created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Pinomindod, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pinomindod, she will throw large rocks at you.

Pinomindod's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Pinomindod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three foxes in a large pit.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near tortoises while wearing purple stockings and balancing five silver spheres on your back.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Run away if nine whales approach from the east.