Laghimfud is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unjust squirrel.

Laghimfud created the solar system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Laghimfud, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Laghimfud, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Laghimfud's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Laghimfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt geese.

2. Never feed peanuts to manatees while wearing purple ear rings.

3. Never feed nuts to great tits while wearing kilts.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.