Jonbimlenlambissgan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, deceitful wolf.

Jonbimlenlambissgan created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonbimlenlambissgan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jonbimlenlambissgan, she will be very sad.

Jonbimlenlambissgan's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Jonbimlenlambissgan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. Put Jonbimlenlambissgan first in all things.

3. You must pray to Jonbimlenlambissgan four times a day.

4. Never paint your head blue.

5. Never write about moons.