Teennadlat is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, capable human.

Teennadlat created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Teennadlat, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Teennadlat, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Teennadlat's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Teennadlat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. You must never eat onions.

3. Never talk about otters.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Fast once a month.