Nartpodcutlat Donyarpjabren is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, overgenerous shrew.

Nartpodcutlat Donyarpjabren created bats two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartpodcutlat Donyarpjabren, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nartpodcutlat Donyarpjabren, it will turn you into a mouse.

Nartpodcutlat Donyarpjabren's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Nartpodcutlat Donyarpjabren's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

2. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

3. Always help seals in need.

4. Do not keep four goats in a large pit.

5. Never pour water over plants.
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