Tarpangyaksom is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, awe-inspiring hippopotamus.

Tarpangyaksom created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpangyaksom, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tarpangyaksom, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tarpangyaksom's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Tarpangyaksom's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

2. Tarpangyaksom must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.