Nellmabjan is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, happy armadillo.

Nellmabjan created a down quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellmabjan, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nellmabjan, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Nellmabjan's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Nellmabjan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help hamsters in need.

2. Feed all hungry monkeys.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Never feed parsnips to mice while wearing blue hats.