Padcetbog is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, emotional grasshopper.

Padcetbog created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padcetbog, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Padcetbog, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Padcetbog's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Padcetbog's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not keep nine dolphins in a large pit.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Padcetbog.