Santikmet is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, selfish turtle.

Santikmet created time and space six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Santikmet, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Santikmet, she will laugh at you.

Santikmet's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Santikmet's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Santikmet seven times a day.

2. Never eat nuts.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never talk about pigs.

5. Never play with disobedient children.