Bidgupsaf Tifkansasbell is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, intelligent squirrel.

Bidgupsaf Tifkansasbell created the Milkyway eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidgupsaf Tifkansasbell, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bidgupsaf Tifkansasbell, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bidgupsaf Tifkansasbell's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bidgupsaf Tifkansasbell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always help mites.