Monbatflowstanbesshabvin is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, stupid wyrm.

Monbatflowstanbesshabvin created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Monbatflowstanbesshabvin, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Monbatflowstanbesshabvin, it will throw large rocks at you.

Monbatflowstanbesshabvin's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Monbatflowstanbesshabvin's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never think about amino acids.