Witjipxinflyzenmap is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, confident dragon.

Witjipxinflyzenmap created a down quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witjipxinflyzenmap, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Witjipxinflyzenmap, he will turn you into a slug.

Witjipxinflyzenmap's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Witjipxinflyzenmap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never talk about dark energy near grasshopers while wearing green ear rings and balancing nine carbon spheres on your arms.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.