Gumxinyamhom is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, all-powerful narwhal.

Gumxinyamhom created the Cigar Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumxinyamhom, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gumxinyamhom, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gumxinyamhom's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gumxinyamhom's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always help sick goats.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never play with disobedient children.