Sandagsand Barnzakcublan Tarpbossbot is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, omniscient manatee.

Sandagsand Barnzakcublan Tarpbossbot created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandagsand Barnzakcublan Tarpbossbot, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sandagsand Barnzakcublan Tarpbossbot, he will be very unhappy.

Sandagsand Barnzakcublan Tarpbossbot's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Sandagsand Barnzakcublan Tarpbossbot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Hide if nine manatees approach from the west.

3. You must pray to Sandagsand Barnzakcublan Tarpbossbot seven times a day.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.