Matwab is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, unthoughtful pig.

Matwab created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matwab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Matwab, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Matwab's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Matwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about geese.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never feed turnips to ducks while wearing shorts.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.