Canbetfut is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, generous snake.

Canbetfut created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Canbetfut, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Canbetfut, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Canbetfut's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Canbetfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about limes.

2. Never think ill of sick goats.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not commit murder.