Loopflampom is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, duplicitous dingo.

Loopflampom created an electron two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopflampom, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Loopflampom, he will manifest in front of you.

Loopflampom's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Loopflampom's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Feed all hungry mites.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never talk about fire.