Fetnurlyim is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, unthinking snail.

Fetnurlyim created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetnurlyim, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fetnurlyim, she will manifest in front of you.

Fetnurlyim's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Fetnurlyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Retreat if five snakes approach from the north.

4. Always help birds in need.

5. Do not covet oxen.