Gubyaksog is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, resourceful gerbil.

Gubyaksog created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubyaksog, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gubyaksog, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gubyaksog's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gubyaksog's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never think about dark energy near rats while wearing cyan scarves and balancing four carbon spheres on your face.

4. Never talk about monkeys.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.