Sitnatbest is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, selfish pig.

Sitnatbest created a top quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitnatbest, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sitnatbest, she will turn you into a slug.

Sitnatbest's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Sitnatbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peanuts to geese while wearing gray shorts.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. You must pray to Sitnatbest six times a day.

4. Do not speak about oranges.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.