Quarttomtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, uncaring centaur.

Quarttomtonk created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quarttomtonk, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Quarttomtonk, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Quarttomtonk's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Quarttomtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Quarttomtonk.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. You must never eat figs.

5. Respect your elders.