Sandortcub is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, grumpy tapir.

Sandortcub created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandortcub, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sandortcub, he will try to impress you with trees.

Sandortcub's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Sandortcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Never eat peanuts.

4. Sandortcub loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

5. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.