Ortvabzodtab is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, narcissistic human.

Ortvabzodtab created the Virgo Supercluster eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortvabzodtab, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ortvabzodtab, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Ortvabzodtab's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Ortvabzodtab's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.