Stikgigsug is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, merciless faun.

Stikgigsug created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Stikgigsug, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Stikgigsug, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Stikgigsug's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Stikgigsug's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Stikgigsug in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never eat turnips.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not hurt nematodes.