Vonkloopbid is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, blissful beaver.

Vonkloopbid created the Cigar Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkloopbid, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vonkloopbid, he will be very sad.

Vonkloopbid's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Vonkloopbid's Holy Commandments

1. Vonkloopbid loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.