Yatmotven is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, self-confident hyena.

Yatmotven created snails eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yatmotven, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yatmotven, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Yatmotven's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Yatmotven's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yatmotven.

3. Erect eight silver sculptures of Yatmotven on top of important buildings.

4. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

5. Never talk about photosynthesis.