Popyarcin is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, flying cat.

Popyarcin created viruses five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Popyarcin, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Popyarcin, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Popyarcin's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Popyarcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of aubergines to doves while wearing violet ear rings.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Always wear fawn.