Padcapsak Listrillmip is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ruthless slug.

Padcapsak Listrillmip created snails six billion years ago.

If you believe in Padcapsak Listrillmip, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Padcapsak Listrillmip, it will think nothing of it.

Padcapsak Listrillmip's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Padcapsak Listrillmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt seals.

2. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.