Zagxencad is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, duplicitous penguin.

Zagxencad created a photon five million years ago.

If you believe in Zagxencad, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zagxencad, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Zagxencad's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Zagxencad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Zagxencad on top of all buildings.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.