Jontimmob is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud whale.

Jontimmob created Asia nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jontimmob, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jontimmob, it will throw large rocks at you.

Jontimmob's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Jontimmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into red rooms.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near moths while wearing gray boots.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Never chant in the presence of dogs.